The 2009 Annual Stray Dog Awards

Just like every network has its own awards for Hindi films. I decided to start my own set of awards from this year. And trust me, this is the closest one can come to actual judgement of true talent in the industry. Here it goes(in complete random order):

Nominations for Best Picture

Firaaq
Kaminey
Luck By Chance
3 Idiots
Gulaal

Nominations for Best Director

Vishal Bharadwaj for 'Kaminey'
Anurag KAshyap for 'Dev. D'
Anurag Kashyap for 'Gulaal'
Rajkumar Hirani for '3 Idiots'
Nandita Das for 'Firaaq'

Nominations for Best Actor in a Leading Role

Amitabh Bachchan for 'Paa'
Ranbir Kapoor for 'Wake Up Sid'
Aamir Khan for '3 Idiots'
Abhay Deol for 'Dev D'
Rishi Kapoor for 'Chintuji'

Nominations for Best Actress in a Leading Role

Konkona Sen Sharma for 'Luck By Chance'
Deepti Naval for 'Firaaq'
Vidya Balan for 'Paa'
Konkona Sen Sharma for 'Wake up Sid'

Ayesha Menon for 'Gulaal'

Nominations for Best Screenplay (+story+dialogues)

Abhijat Joshi, Rajkumar Hirani and Chetan Bhagat for '3 Idiots'

Vikramditya Motwane and Anurag Kashyap for 'Dev. D'

Zoya Akhtar and Javed Akhtar for 'Luck By Chance'

R. Balki for 'Paa'

Vishal Bharadwaj, Abhishek Chaubey, Sabrina Dhawan and Supratik Sen for 'Kaminey'

Nominations for Best Supporting Actor

Kay Kay Menon for 'Gulaal'

Amol Gupte for 'Kaminey'

Naveen Kaushik for 'Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year'

Rishi Kapoor for 'Luck By Chance'

Abhimanyu Singh for 'Gulaal'

Nominations for Best Supporting Actress

Mahi Gill for 'Dev D'

Shahana Goswami for 'Firaaq'

Gauhar Khan for 'Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year'

Divya Dutta for 'Delhi 6'

Tisca Chopra for 'Firaaq'

Nominations for Best Music (+Background Score)

A.R. Rahman for 'Delhi 6'

Amit Trivedi for 'Dev D'

Vishal Bharadwaj for 'Kaminey'

Illyaraja for 'Paa'

Salim Sulieman for 'Rocket Singh: Salesman of the year'

And the winners are (including non- nominated categories):

Best Cinematography: Tassaduq Hussain for 'Kaminey'

Best Choeography: Bosco Caesar for the promo video of '13B'

Best Art Direction: T.P. Abid for 'Luck by Chance'

Best Editing: Hemanti Sarkar for 'Sankat City'

Best Costume: Arjun Bhasin, Arpana Chandra for 'Luck by Chance'

Best Make-up: Synthetic make up for 'Paa'

Best Original Song: Dhan te nan from 'Kaminey'

Best Lyrics: Gulzar for the title song of 'Kaminey'

Breakthrough Performance: Arjun Mathur for 'Barah Aana' (closely beating Navin Kaushik for 'Rocket Singh: Salesman of The Year')

Best Debutant Director: Zoya Akhtar for 'Luck By Chance'

Best Music Director: Amit Trivedi for 'Dev. D' (don't kill me)

Best Supporting Actress: Shahana Goswami for 'Firaaq'

Best Supporting Actor: Abhimanyu Singh for 'Gulaal'

Best Screenplay: Vishal Bharadwaj, Abhishek Chaubey, Sabrina Dhawan and Supratik Sen for 'Kaminey'

Best Actress in a Leading Role: Konkona Sen Sharma for 'Luck By Chance'

Best Actor in a Leading Role: Amitabh Bachchan for 'Paa'

Best Director: Vishal Bharadwaj for 'Kaminey'

Best Film: 3 Idiots

Does not happen often that the best director and film go to 2 different films, but then... this is the Stray Dog Awards. :) Until next time, good bye.

Lonely Post

If you are reading this post, then maybe you have finished reading my new posts and are in a mood to check out the old ones. And that landed you here. This post is being written when I just want to write freely, no holds barred. Stop reading here, you won't like the rest.

Its a difficult post to write partly because I have nothing to say and partly because I of all people have better things to write than this stupid post. The reason why I am writing this is because I have no one to talk to right now.

I don't understand why each and every thing I write, becomes so personal for me. Why every single line of every single stupid poem that I have written means so much to me. Why can't I just write in flow like other people. Why do I stop and check that every line in every para is coming out fine?

I hate blogging. I would like to quote a fellow b grade blogger on this: 'Every man and his dog have a blog'. Its funny when I turn to read them. Most of the people have pretty much nothing to say. Majority of them are reactions over recent events, what happened at your friend's party this weekend, stupid poems about green grass and crimson sky and blue river only filled with blank heavy-sounding words. I tried to find content in many of them. Hardly found any.

It is very sad all our films and books are being devoid of stories. You watch the first 10 minutes of a film and you pretty much know whats going to happen next. You have seen it all.

Personally, I'm moving through a tough phase in my life. My movie stopped 5 days into shooting and worse I couldn't do anything about it. Thankfully, I have something to write. Otherwise, it would have been so disappointing. There is this an innate flaw in me. I can't say 'No' to anybody. I can't go in and say some unpleasant stuff to people.A lot of my friends tell me to read their blogs or anything that they have written. Majority of times I feel that this thing is shit. But, I don't have the balls to take the smile away from their faces by saying anything bad. I point out a few minor flaws and make him feel as if I'm actually reading this seriously. And in the end I say 'Achha hai, yaar'. When I know its worthless. Shit, I hate myself for doing that. There is a lot of work that I have loved. And never stop to praise the people who wrote that. Why can't I do the vice versa, when I hate something.

I am Zelig, that is what I am. I often change my opinions just to fit in a group, something I have tried to work upon off late. Why can't I tell people to fuck off. Its a natural disability. I have been dominated by people who know nothing about what they are talking about and allowed myself to listen to them. Yes, I'm a good listener. That is how I write.

Coming back to my point, writing in this place is so much underrated. Its as if everyone in this campus was born with a pen in his hand. I have seen the quality of plays that they do, the kind of movies they watch, and the kind of poems they write. Its trash. I can write better plays than the 'Gold winning plays' of this place on any given sunday. People here have no respect for art or artists.

Hierarchy has its own disadvantages. You allow ignorant fools to teach you about dramatics and they are the ones who judge your scripts and ideas. 'Arey yeh judges ko pasand nahi aayega' 'Isme Gold nahi lagega'. Abey tujhe kya pata hai? Jitni teri umar hai,usse zyada plays kiye honge maine yahan aane se pahle. Its this place, I tell you. Once you enter,you forget the real world. Its like Virtual Reality. You can do anything here (given the right contacts). Anyone who shouts well, is a good actor. 'Audience ki taraf dekh ke bolna hai' 'Yahan choreo daal dete hain, warna janta frusst ho jayegi'. Nobody has anything to say out of a play.

One of my 'friends' was talking to another guy holding my 109 page script in his hand. He said 'Iski (me) creativity mein upper limit hai. Hamari tarah nahi hai infinite'. He said it after I read a 20 line post from his blog and just said 'Thik hai', while the other comments were 'Awesome.Brilliant.Huuhhhaaaa'. Maybe everyone thinks of himself as a creative genius. Maybe. Its so easy to criticise someone. Its like a bed someone made. You jump on it saying, 'Dekha. Dekha. Hil raha hai. Abhi tootega. ' What I can just say to those people is trying making a bed. First do that, and then write. They will never understand this. Its people like those who go on throughout their lives about how much they love to be an actor, that acting is their life, they can't live without it. And you spot them a couple of years later, working in a bank.

Friend, only if you could realise, somewhere down the line you need to get out of that comfort zone of yours and try to adapt your work forthe real world, not the imaginary world you have in head. People who struggle in the streets of Mumbai are confused about their skills, but at least they are putting in some effort.

Class. Another word I hate. What is Class? Woh 'class' gaane sunta hai. Abey, yeh sirf us class ke liye hai. Often this class of pople form their opinions about class from the class of their friends. And start believing that there are similar people all over who form their class. And that their work is accessible to those people. Anything that is not universally accepted, is not class. Trust me on this. John Lennon is class. Quentin Tarantino is class. French perfume critics and Indian spiritual Gurus are not class.

It would have been so easy if I could say 'Fuck off' to the people I hate. Would have saved the time I spent to write this post.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla: Promo

Hawas ki Pujarin aur Kaatil Chammakchhalo ki aapar safalta ke baad. Dil dahla dene wali Gopal Godbole ki 13vi film.....

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Sweety Gupta ka lajawaab husn, Pankaj Godbole ki pahli film, Babloo Kumar Chaturvedi ki romanchak kahani, Salim Kanpuriya ke sanwad, Pandit Jasraj(tritiya) ka madhur sangeet aur mahaan actor Natthulal Marandi ka shaandar abhinay....

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Dhamakedaar action se bharpoor....

Sonu: Tuney Pinki ka balatkaar kaise kiya, Kaminey?

Villain: Jaise filmon mein karte hain. Tera kar ke dikahun?

Sonu: Kamineeeeey....

Sonu punches and kicks.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Pyar bhara romance...

Sonu: Pinki. Aaj hamari pahli suhaagraat hai. Isse pahle ki main kaam pe lag jaun, tumhe kuchh kahna hai?

Pinki: Han Sonu, Main tumhare bachhe ki maa banne wali hun.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Dil dhadkanewala suspance....

Inspector: Iska matlab kaatil raat ke 10 se 10.30 baje ke beech ghar pe ghusa, aur Mr. Sharma pe goli chala di.

Sub-Inspector: Goli zaroor peeche se chali hogi. Dekhiye, lash ki peeth par goli ka nishaan hai.

Inspector: Aur zaroor kaatil ne pistol ka istemaal kiya hoga. Wahi pistol jo lash ke paas padi huyi hai.

Sub-inspector: Han, ho sakta hai.

Inspector: Aur kaatil zaroor Gujrati tha.

Sub-Inspector: Yeh aap kaise kah sakte hain, Inspector sahab?

Inspector: Pistol ki 1 goli chalane ke baad woh baaki 5 chura ke bhag gaya. Itna kanjoos toh bas koi gujrati hi ho sakta hai.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Chatpati Comedy....

Puchku: Meri mummy mein na chudail aa gayi hai.

Bunty: Meri mummy toh pahle se hi hai.

Bholu: Meri mummy Rakhi Sawant hai.

Puchku and Bunty run away screaming.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Darawna (Ramsey jitna) horror...

Pinki(in a harsh chudail voice): Mera naam Chaalu Chudail hai. Main tujhe kachha kha jaungi. Ha! Ha! Ha!

Bholu: Meri mummy Rakhi Sawant hai.

Pinki runs away screaming.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Total emotion...

Sonu: Pinki, kya tumne machhi khai?

Pinki: Nahi, Sonu. Tum jante ho ki main veg. hun.

Sonu: Sach sach batao Pinki.

Pinki: Nahi, nahi.

Sonu: Sach kaho, Pinki. Sach. Sach.

Pinki: Han. Han. Han. Sonu. (crying) Maine machhi khai hai. Machhi khai hai maine.

-Silence-

Sonu: Kachhi ya pakki?

Pinki cries.

Sonu(shots): Bolo Pinki. Bolo. Bolo.

Pinki(murmurs): Kachhi.

Sonu: Tum isi waqt ghar chhod ke chli jao, Pinki.

Both cry.

Lajawaab gaane...

Female voice:

#Yeh dil toh dhak dhak kare,

Bas teri hi aahein bhare,

Bahon mein aaja baalma,

Kab tak rahega khade.#

Male Voice:

#Main hi hun tera piya,

tuney pyar mein paagal kiya,

bas diwali aane de,

mil ke jalaenge diya.#

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla...

Kya Pinki Chudail ke shikanje se Khudko bacha payegi? Kya Sonu Pinki ka pyaar pa sakega? Kya Madhosh Madari Baba apni bandariya chudail se duniya par raj karega? In sawaalon ka jawaab janne ke liye dekhiye.

Pyaasi Chudail Ka Badla.(4 bathroom scene ke saath)

I

Hi All,

I am I. I think you already know me. You use me to represent you. Witout me, you wouldn't exist. You think about me all the time. You put me before everything. You like me.

I am tall. I am mostly dark. I am skinny. I dont have a head. When I was a child, I had a detachable head. I miss my head. It was a nice head. It kept floating left and right. One morning, I woke up and found my head missing. Then, I became you. I wish I could become a child again.

Childhood photo : Me with brother

Sometimes, I wear a hat. Sometimes I don't. It depends on your mood or budget.

I like myself. But I hate me. He treats me badly. He often goes to places where I'm supposed to be. I like You. He is like my brother. We often follow each other. I love him.

I am everything. I am always right.

I am single. I am unable to find a match. No one is as staright as me. Although I get along with A,E,O and U, they don't like me much. And neither do I. I just pretend to be in their elite group.

But they know that I am the most powerful.

Me at the company party. (Notice my moves? :D)

I saw myself in the mirror. I looked a lot like me. But I was not me. I am I. I am God. How can I be me? I hate me. How can I be a loser like me? No, something's wrong with my eyes. I need glasses. But, wait, if I wear glasses, I'll just B. Still, I think I am not me. I look a lot like him. But, just need to concentarte and I'll be like you.

Shit! I just killed God. Need to wipe him out clean.

Gotta go. Bye.